Trump Eradicates Global Warming
Updated: Aug 1, 2019
You might be thinking, "Mr Bigleys, how did Trump eradicate global warming if it's a proven fact that global warming is just a Soros financed lie created to push the left's agenda?" A strong point you have, no doubt, BUT, just in case Bill Nye the science guy is right...Trump made sure to eliminate any chance of its existence like buying your girl Plan B after not blowing a load while double wrapping it.
How exactly did Trump inadvertently destroy global warming? Ill fucking tells you; With icy cold handshakes and throwing shade larger than a fat kid with a tuba in the summer sun. As Trump and Melania showed up fashionably late to the funeral, obvi, they proceeded to shake hands with the Obama's which was perfectly described by world-renowned news site ATT.net saying "Michelle Obama Freezes Donald Trump In Handshake At George H.W. Bush Funeral." Trump then proceeded to ignore a stone-faced Hillary 4 seats over... JESUS FUCK, it just came to me: this funeral had more drama than a recently hormone infused Kevin Durant Twitter rant. Quote that ATT.net.
When it comes down to it though, Trump failed our economy. He failed our economy by not putting down Jimmy Carter. We're talking about a 94-year-old man here. At an age like that, you could accidentally breathe on him and give him a fatal chill. It's not that I actually want Jimmy Carter to go down, I just believe if Trump really cared about the economy he would have been the effective businessman that he supposedly is to take out two birds with one stone. We can't be closing down the stock market every time one of these old hags croaks. Whatever, at least global warming is solved...