A plastic surgeon out of Miami has been charged with illegally using minors to help advertise and boost sales for his clinic. Dr. Rodriguez, the owner of the clinic, claims of no wrongdoing. And although Dr. Rodriguez's actions have been described nothing short of despicable, there's no arguing that from a pure marketing standpoint, his plan was borderline genius.
As we all know, there are 3 soulless creatures on this Earth; 1 you can kill and 2 you can't. First on the list, unborn fetuses. Second, are the gingers. And third is the fetuses that didn't get aborted; better known as 'children.'
The first two on this list are harmless. Neither will ever see the light of day — for different reasons, of course. Children, on the other hand, are the only living beings on Earth that can destroy another person's confidence in under a minute. Children are primal beings. They can smell the insecurities oozing out of a person, and lack the filter to stop them from spewing those insecurities aloud.
That lack of a filter is precisely what Dr. Rodriguez wanted when he hired seven kids, ages 7-11 years old, to run his advertising ploy. The plan was really quite simple. Dr. Rodriguez would drop the boys off at different locations nearby his ads, including bus stops, billboards, the Best Buy TV section, and more. As soon as they saw a woman showing interest in the ad, the attack would begin.
One victim specifically recalls an unnamed 9-year-old's comment to her. The boy saw her reading Dr. Rodriguez's billboard and approached her, stating, "Why is your nose so big? Is it because you lie when your roommate asks you if you ate all the Cheetos?" The woman says she was utterly taken aback. Before she could respond, he hit her with the kill shot; "Why does your big toe look like it only eats Twinkies?" She describes the encounter with the child as "Destroying a lifetime worth of confidence in under a minute." And it worked; Following the incident, the victim spent over $50,000 at the doctor's clinic, including toe reconstruction surgery.
A second victim, known best for being a famous plus-sized Instagram model who boasts body positivity, had a complete breakdown after an 11-year-old verbally assaulted her at a bus stop. Reflecting on the experience, she said, "I happened to be looking at one of Dr. Rodriguez's ads at a nearby bus stop poster. I've always preached body positivity, but deep down, it's always been a bit of a front. That's when the child approached me. It was almost as if the kid had been in my head my entire life and knew what would push me over the edge. He asked me why my shirt didn't cover my 'chubby' belly. I explained to him that beautiful bodies come in all shapes and sizes. Then he asked me if I enjoyed fried foods. I responded, of course. And then..." she begins to break down in tears, "...then he asked me if that was why my nose was so flat...from constantly smashing my face into a frying pan." Mascara filled tears run down Ms. Piggy's face. "How could a child say something like that?"
Following the incident, Ms. Piggy underwent surgery for a gastric bypass, reconstructed nose, botox, a Brazilian butt lift, and a boob job from D's to double D's. Although Ms. Piggy's Instagram followers universally agree she looks better, she demands to be paid for emotional and physical damages.
In the end, Mr. Rodriguez's ploy was discovered after one of his 7-year-olds began to pick up on the plastic surgery business a little too well. Cops grew suspicious as the young boy initiated consulting clinics in the middle of Ocean Drive in Miami. After destroying a women's confidence, the 7-year-old would then make specific recommendations, even drawing on the women with a marker to present his thoughts.
During the advertising campaign, surgeries by Dr. Rodriguez soared more than 147%. He maintains his innocence as he awaits his court date. He claims that he was merely offering an internship program for young, aspiring plastic surgeons. When asked if he regrets anything, he replied, "I regret nothing. Lady Justice has been broken for years and needs a facelift. And while she's under the knife, we might as well shave that bump off her nose, give her a voluptuous, new rack, Botox for the wrinkles her blindfold has created, lip injections for a little plump, an upper arm lift to better match her strong arm that holds the scales, and potentially a calf augmentation."