• Mr Bigleys

How Outlook Almost Screwed Me Out Of $3.6 Million

Updated: Mar 31, 2020

The Outlook email platform has long been my preferred method for sending and receiving messages; Mainly because I refuse to get rid of my student email account even though I'm about four years out of college. Nonetheless, I make it a habit to occasionally check the Junk email file to see if I missed anything important. Outlook does a great job of separating the junk from the real mail, but sometimes they'll miss. Thank God I checked my Junk file this past week because if I hadn't, I'd never stumble upon the $3.6 million that will soon be transferred to my account.

Anna is well-traveled

Although I felt sorry for Anna's cancer diagnosis, I was happy to see that my preconceived notion that nurses had it harder than terminal cancer patients was confirmed.

Now, the average person may have been thrown off by the fact that Anna's email address suddenly changed. But I put my faith in God and gave her the benefit of the doubt.

I was excited about receiving the $3.6 million, but reading The Art Of The Deal taught me that you should never settle. She didn't seem to be impressed by the prospect of donating the money to Mr. Bloomberg. I had to take another approach because there wasn't a chance in hell that I would agree to donate that much money to the needy. I also had time on my side. I knew Anna only had so long before she had to give in.

I assume she's accepted my new offer.

I remind her that I will not be giving any cash to poor people.

Things begin to get serious, so I reaffirm my intentions to the lawyer. As you can see, I took a business law class in college, so I'm pretty well versed in iuris (that's Latin for law).

Anna's cancer apparently seconds as a form of dementia. I reassure her that everything is fine...

Email from me to Anna

In case you ever wondered what I actually look like

Although I am thankful for this opportunity, I remind Andree that I really need this money transferred quickly. The club was already booked, and they were getting on me about the deposit.

What an incredible turn of events. Never in my life would I imagine that I'd benefit from cancer, but the world works in mysterious ways. Let this serve as a reminder to always check your Junk mail. Since I started this process with Anna, 3 other people have contacted me begging that I take their money.

If you'd like to attend our first-ever FaHoo Benefit **Wink, Wink** shoot me a message on Twitter. There will be hookers, and there will be blow. BYOB. Sorry, $3.6 million isn't that much money I have to be fiscally responsible.

**Prayers Up For Anna Diaz. May God Bless Her Soul**

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