BREAKING: Influencers Migrating To LinkedIn After IG Eliminates Likes
This past week, Instagram announced they would start hiding likes on a user's profile in certain parts of America. The company has been testing the idea for months in countries, including Japan, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, and Italy. But no amount of warning could have prepared us for this shit IRL, leaving IG influencer's SHOOK.
If I've said it once, I've said it a couple more times: Instagram likes is the new currency. I mean, fuck…how are my self-love posts (which I post for my own self and nobody else) going to reflect other's praise for me? Should I be punished because my bed head selfies SLAY, while ugly peoples struggle to get a single like? If you're so concerned about likes, simply post it to your story.
Still not understanding the severity of this? Let me put it this way: My self-confidence is a fucking Ferrari, likes are the gas, and that thirst trap I posted is a fucking BP station. BRUH, GAS ME THE FUCK UP. You're trying to tell me that we have to pretend a picture of me looking like a straight-up man-dime garnered the same amount of likes as Suzy Fat Thumbs? Get the fuck outta here, fam. Did Bernie Sanders take over as CEO, taxing the beautiful and giving it to the unsightly boors?
Luckily, Mr Bigleys wasn't the only one catching feelings about the change. Influencers, myself being one, aren't just incredibly attractive; we're also entrepreneurs. When given $3000 worth of cleansing smoothies we paid for out of pocket, we don't panic, we problem solve. Influencers had to ask: Where could we continue to connect and grow, fam? The answer -- LinkedIn A.K.A. social media for professionals.
Since influencers have been self-employed our entire lives, the vibe of LinkedIn came as a bit of a shock. It's all Gucci, though. TBH, LinkedIn is low-key hype AF. There's a spot to shine light on our skills, and send recommendations. There's also an 'about' section, a place to put our entrepreneurship work experience, **skip the education part**, and even field for your driver's license or certification. The most lit part, though, is that LinkedIn not only has a like button but ALSO a celebrate, love, insightful, and curious button.
Now granted, LinkedIn comes with its issues too. Professionalism is all the rage on the site, so keeping it 100 can be challenging at times. We're forced to tone down our posts a bit as seen here:
There's also still creeps because even creeps have careers. The good news is that most of the stalkers forget to change their LinkedIn profile settings to private. They're unaware that we're alerted every time they look at our profile. They're even forced to tone down their aggressive tones:
Listen, straight up, I'm not trying to throw shade at IG, but their product is trash. When someone starts to fuck with my currency, expect your boy to clap back. On my life, bro, that app has been acting sus anyway. Fuck IG. If you wanna follow Bigleys, you can find me adulting on the LinkedIn.
Stay Woke, and Stay Blessed, fam
Linkedin: @ www.linkedin.com/in/mister-bigleys-a70375183